How to Lose a Girl in 10 Days! Part II

Day 7 - I receive a text around 5:30 PM, "So, what do you like to do when you're not wrangling kids at the after-school program?" I send the response as I'm walking to my car at 6:15 PM (he knows where I work which means he knows I don't get off before 6 which is our program's closing time, "I'm driving. Call me." He calls me and we have a 20 minute discussion where we begin getting to know one another. When he asks me what I am doing tomorrow, I tell him about my second job where I work on Saturdays and tell him that I am meeting with a couple of girlfriends for drinks, one of which is going to be sharing some good news about her business. I arrive home and we get off the phone. He's going to do laundry and I'm going to do homework. I get a text around 8:30 PM, "Man, this laundry never ends. Well, good night baby". What?!? We ain't there yet!!! I send him a slanty face :-/ hoping he'll get the point that he's out of bounds. I thought he did because he didn't respond. Boy was I wrong!!!


Day 8 - I head to meet my girlfriends at 4:30 PM and guess who's texting me... You guessed it. Blowing my phone up! I receive one that says, "What time are you meeting your friends?" I respond, "I'm trying to have drinks now." Does he get the point? No! He texts back, "Send me a picture of you with your friends." I am mad at this point and I choose to ignore him in an effort to keep Shaquita (my alter ego) from coming out and introducing herself. For the third time today, he misses the point and sends me another text message, "Hellooooo". Uh uh... no he didn't (Shaquita is climbing out my purse)! About an hour later when I arrive home after having a wonderful, yet rudely intruded on time with my girlies, I send him this message, "Listen ______, I'm gonna say this as nicely as I possibly can, 'You need to kick back!' No, I will not send you a picture of me with my friends. I'm chillin' so BACK UP!" He sends back, "WOW. I just wanted to see you having a good time with your friends." I am now convinced that he his completely oblivious and I will need to be much more blunt with him. This is why some guys get cussed out! But I didn't go there. He wasn't worth the effort.


Day 9 - I'm formulating how I'm gonna put him in his place. During the conversation on Day 7, _____ was informed about the existence of my alter ego Shaquita. Well, he let her out the purse on Day 8. I've successfully wrangled her back inside but the reigns are loose, to say the least.


Day 10 - I text, "That was Shaquita being nice to you." He replies, "She's a lovely woman." Time for the hammer to come down, "_______, I've decided not to go on a date with you after all. Thank you for your interest, it was flattering." He calls my phone, which I don't answer because this is not a discussion, I am not ending a relationship. This is over well before it even started. He texts me, "How can you say that after the great conversation we had the other day." I choose to be 100% honest to give him the opportunity to learn from his mistakes as he moves forward... with someone else, not me. I text, "Our personalities are not compatible. You appear to be quite pushy and quite frankly you irritated me." He's dense, I determine as I receive a long message telling me that he is sorry he irritated me and that he is the most easy going guy. If I were to ask his friends about him they would say he's a great guy... I'm done! I let him have it in a final response, "This is not a debate. I'm done discussing it. Good bye." He sends back "Wow!" I ignore him.


I don't give a crap who gives him a glowing recommendation! If you have irritated me and we haven't even gone on our first date, then it's done. I have learned to listen to my gut and my instincts. And the way he handled my telling him that I've changed my mind about dating him tells me that I was right. Good riddance!

How to Lose a Girl in 10 Days! Part I

I told you that my blog would be an all encompassing space for me to share my world (ventilate at times). Well, here is my first entry on dating. Gee willikers, have men forgotten how to get to know a woman, court, date, or what-ever title you want to put on it?

Here's some background, I began working at an after-school program in September of 2011. Around December it is told to me by one of my co-worker that one of the kid's parents "thinks I'm hot." I have no clue who this guy is; I can't remember ever seeing or speaking to him (Clue #1). His kids are in 4th and 5th grade, I teach a 2nd grade class, so needless to say, no wonder I don't know who he is. To be fair to bug-a-boo, by Day 6 you will have some indication on how he earned his title, I have no clue what he is thinking or the motivations for his actions. I can only offer insight on my feelings, actions, and my opinion of him and his actions. Now, on with the story that begins May 11, 2012 (Yes, it took him that long to make himself known. Clue #2):

Day 1 - Man gives his business card to my co-worker with the message, "Please tell Ms. Valcine that I'd like to take her to coffee or something when she has the time." Woman is busy working and my co-worker gives the business card to me during a lull in the activity and relays the message. "Ok," I say, "Could you put it in my purse please, I don't have any pockets." 

Day 3 - I call him. Upon getting reaching his voice mail I leave the following message, "Hey ____ (in an attempt to be nice, I won't say his name. He should be grateful, I could put him on blast right now!). I'd love to go to coffee with you but I'd prefer to wait until after school lets out. Give me a call then and we'll set something up. Talk to you later.

Later that same day - He calls and leaves me a message complimenting me on the play the kids put on the week before and my work with the after school program. Says he can't wait to take me to coffee, lunch, dinner, or whatever I prefer.

Day 4 - I text him, "Got your message. Thanks for the compliments. I look forward to it." He responds, "They're well deserved." So far so good, if you could call it that.

Day 5 - I receive a text message that says, "Hi Valcine. I know you wanted to wait until after the school year lets out but I have a work dinner to attend and I would really like you to be my date. _____ and ______ (his children) won't know anything about it." I respond, "Thanks for the offer and consideration but my job has a policy against dating parents at your school site and being a woman of integrity, I would prefer not to violate their policies." He responds, "I can respect that." I'm thinking, "Do you always have this much trouble accepting 'No'? I mean, we're only talking a few weeks here. You've waited this long to finally speak up."

Day 6 - My class of 2nd graders and my co-worker with her class of Kinder and 1st graders are in the library doing an art activity. Who comes, and opens the door, and waits for me to look up? You guessed it. (Strike 1! I'm thinking, "The whole point of waiting until the end of the school year is because of my job and their policies. I do remember conveying that to you rather clearly.")